


Avengers Steam Chats

by Heart_Aflame, Soul_Alight (Heart_Aflame)



Series: Steam Avengers [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Steam Powered Giraffe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Canon-Typical Violence, Chatlogs, Gen, Liberal use of headcanons, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Side Story, Steam Powered Giraffe (Band), Text Chatting, canon diverged for the robots after they return from space, follows main fic story arc loosely, group chats, its the year 2016 and both groups timelines are kinda skewed, linear narrative, not tagging everyone who shows up later, text fic, tied to my main story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heart_Aflame/pseuds/Heart_Aflame, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heart_Aflame/pseuds/Soul_Alight
Summary: Tony makes a group chat as a test for the robot band, it spirals a bit out of control and grows from there
Series: Steam Avengers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884532
Comments: 9
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this for accountability towards myself as a way to force myself to write the actual main story instead of letting it sit for eternity.

Stark added Rabbit!, The Spine, Peter Walter VI, Qwerty and Beebop to the group chat **Turing**

**Everyone Online: 6**

Stark: Alright, so.

Rabbit!: This already sucks

Stark: Don’t care, you agreed to let me test this. 

Stark: It’s just a conversation anyway.

Peter Walter VI: The test has already been compromised though, as usually it is done with a person who does not know they are talking to an AI or a robot, but you know they are robots and AI interfaces.

Peter Walter VI: The results won’t be done correctly because you already know they aren't human and dont believe in their sentience or that they are technically in some sense living. 

Rabbit!: Is that how that works?

Beebop: The turing test usually has the involvement of three participants. One is the evaluator, one is a human, the other is a machine. The evaluator does not know which of the other two participants it is speaking to at a given time is the human beforehand. They do however know that one of them is supposed to be a machine. It must be conducted in text-only channels and not face to face. 

Qwerty: If the evaluator cannot tell the machine from the human while talking with either of them, that means the machine passed the test.

Qwerty: Or the human is just awful at being sentient.

Qwerty: Would that make the human a machine because they failed? What a dumb test l0lz.

Beebop: Be quiet, that is not what it means. 

Qwerty: Make me.

Peter Walter VI: Play nice guys.

Stark: Okay, fine. New plan then. 

_Stark changed Rabbit!’s nickname to Hopper_

_Stark changed The Spine’s nickname to Stegosaurus_

_Stark changed Qwerty’s nickname to Jerk_

Jerk: :/

_Stark changed Beebop’s nickname to Floater_

Stark: and because there's a human usually being tested

_Starked changed Peter Walter VI’s nickname to Birch_

Stegosaurus: I do not like this name.

Hopper: Mine’s kinda cool, I guess. 

Birch: I’m all for this experiment this is awesome! 

Birch: But who is meant to be the evaluator here?

Stark: Ill get him, give me a second. 

**Stark added Captain Rogers to the chat.**

**Everyone Online: 7**

_Captain Rogers changed his nickname to Steve_

Steve: What’s going on here?

Stark: A turing test. I muted everyone else so they can’t speak and ruin the beginning. 

Stark: I needed someone here who didn’t already know who each of them were before I changed their names.

Stark: So just, I suppose, talk with them. Tell me which to unmute first and just go at it.

Steve: Uh, okay. It seems a little weird since I knew a few of them during the war.

Steve: But I guess like this I wouldn’t so... Floater first?

Stark: Alright.

Floater: I do not wish to participate, this just seems entirely meaningless and a waste of time. 

Steve: Why would that be?

Floater: I do not need a test to tell me what I already know, and do not feel the need to prove anything to humans outside of Walter Manor. I am Beebop, a sonic interface AI meant to monitor the robots and report any issues I scan. 

Floater: I do not require or worry about the level of my sentience in the eyes of random humans I do not interact with. 

Stark: Well, this was an immediate bust. 

Steve: No I think it still works. I dont know how this test is meant to go but he introduced himself, and explained his reasoning and feelings about what was going on.

Steve: I think a machine with no sentience probably wouldn’t have a complaint about a test proving their alive, and would just do what they were programmed to do which is trick a person into believing their human or prove they are alive. I don’t think this counts as a failure but as a sort of spiteful win.

Beebop: That was not my intention and I do not wish to prolong this conversation or participate more in useless group chats. 

Stark: How the hell did you change your name without a notifier. 

Beebop: I am an entirely digital robotic AI interface, and the coding of a phone and it's subsequent internal functions is easily hack-able.

Stark: fair enough. 

**Beebop disconnected.**

**Everyone online: 6**

Stark: Bye then I guess. 

Steve: It’s okay Tony, this testing thing is new to me and I dont entirely see how it works but it’ll be fine, and I know you want some assurance with it for something. So are we continuing? 

Stark: If you want to pick go right ahead man.

Steve: Can I choose more than one?

Stark: ... Sure, we already arent doing the usual test correctly. 

Steve: How about Birch and Hopper.

Hopper: Hi Steve!

Birch: Hey buddy. 

Hopper: I just wanna say I think this sucks too but I’m bored so I’m doin it anyway just cause I got nothin else to do.

Birch: I’m a fan of experimentation and tests that I already know the answer to but that other people learn from and come to the same conclusions as I did long ago. 

Birch: Pleasure to converse with you in the time I have to spare for the moments today before I need to return to some rather important work. 

Steve: What work are you doing that you're so busy with?

Birch: That’s actually just a bit classified and not something I wish to share. 

Birch: Suffice to say though that it is quite prone to reactions and can on occasion lead to explosions! You need to not have any distractions or things break. 

Hopper: You are doing that work with a group of people though this time right?

Birch: Of course, it’s a group work thing instead of a solo work thing today. It’s actually a job given to the workers that I decided to participate in as a fun and easier task, comparatively for me, than the main thing I’ve been doing recently. 

Steve: That sounds... fun. Not entirely sure what you're talking about but I’ll trust you know what you're doing. 

Birch: Yes, I am much more careful since I blew up my face!

Stark: What?!

Steve: Uhhh... that sounds awful, are you okay.

Birch: Oh I’m cherries! That was quite a while ago anyway. 

Birch: It’s bound to happen to a scientist eventually!

Hopper: Hi steve! It’s me, Hopper.

Hopper: Except my name isn’t Hopper, It’s Rabbit.

Hopper: Hi, I’m Rabbit! Remember me, Rabbit the robot? 

Steve: Oh! Well, that just makes me slightly more concerned for whoever Birch is.

Steve: Nice to speak with you again Rabbit, even if it’s over text. I assume I’ll see you soon at the Avengers Facility?

Hopper: Got nothin’ else to be doing for awhile thanks to Mr. Turing Test Evil Robot Maker over there.

Stark: Again, harmless curiosity, and you agreed to do it. Though now I see you’re just uncooperative and spiting me. 

Hopper: I’m bored is what I am!

Birch: Please don’t start anything currently Rabbit, this is quite an interesting experiment to see play out, even if it’s been compromised from the start. Altered data is still interesting statistics to study and look through. 

Hopper: Fine. Sorry. 

Steve: This is going well, I think. I don’t know how these usually are meant to go but I am having some fun guessing who is who. 

Stark: I’m so glad... Do we even need to go on or should we just stop now and call it a wash. Maybe get Clint or Sam on who doesn't know these guys. 

Hopper: I don’t care, my parts done, so I can just watch and enjoy whatever happens now. 

Steve: I feel like it’s only fair I talk to the last two, they’ve been waiting patiently, I don't think it's fair to just end it. 

Steve: Then I guess I can figure out if I talked to the one human in the test or not and whatever this is meant to actually do. 

Stark: Not how this works but fine, everyones unmuted now. 

Jerk: l0lz g0t upSet? Wanna 4pply s0me mu5tard? Thls ls the w0rst m0st b0rlng tlme 3v3r :/ :) :(

Stegosaurus: Stop. 

Jerk: Whatever, it doesn’t seem like it matters much now, not like it did at the beginning to start with anyway, so It is time to introduce myself like Beebop did before he left like the boring clipshow thing he is.

Jerk: I am Qwerty, the operating system AI for walter robotics created in 1983 to help interface with the Steam Powered Giraffe robots and to be a replacement for the faulty normal internet that is useless in the face of my superior independent internet capabilities and personal Walter Wifi

Birch: To clarify, he runs parallel to the rest of the internet but isn’t interfaced directly with it so generally Walter Manor has it’s own personal wifi and internet to the rest of the... world I suppose. So none of us have access to the internet automatically without a phone or computer that can connect or interface to it. It’s another reason why the robots are not databases or computers, as much as they might joke about them being such. They just have good memories of the history and things they've seen.

Steve: That’s... interesting.

Jerk: I can interface with any Walter Robotics machinery in the home, and I am the robots operating system to help tell the Walters if things need fixing. Like when The Spine needed a new rubber posterior because the plating came off with the old one thanks to some rusty screws that no one checked.

Stegosaurus: Hey!

Birch: Hey buddy, little less of that. Qwerty works alongside Beebop in his job actually, Beebop is the one who tends to notify when an internal electrical problem has occurred. 

Jerk: Too frequently when the percentage is so low even an ant could not be able to see it. 

Steve: So if I get this right... Qwerty is the internet provider and Beebop is the firewall? The... virus protector?

Jerk: Something like that, if the firewall virus protector needed assistance from a paperclip on a word document to send a letter electronically to someone in the same room as him. 

Steve: That’s a little harsh.

Jerk: Ha ha ha :)

Jerk: He can put them into shutdown mode and call the workers, as well as loads of other stuff, that I could do too btw, if someone would just let me instead of leave me with the Hall of Wires only. M4yb3 lm 0ut 0f d4t3, but l stlLL w0rk Gr34t!

Stegosaurus: You did that on purpose.

Jerk: Yes >:D

Stegosaurus: _sigh_. 

Steve: What... What is the Hall of Wires you mentioned?

Jerk: It’s a room, full of wires everywhere. All over the ceiling and the floor, and they move and I control the room. It’s a control room, for if it is needed to manually restart/reboot/whatever the robots and look inside of them, has a big metal desk with lots of buttons and switches against a wall and a hidden large tv in the wall, and my own screen I can move about the room. it is red, and hums. The Spine spends a lot of time sulking in it, in the nest of wires overhead, interfacing with the house. I guard and protect it.

Steve: From what?

Jerk: L0l, 3rr0r 3rror, question unclear. Does not need protection, I just like asking for ID. It has a door.

Stark: Is that relevant?

Jerk: Only door in the building, to keep wires inside. Peter does not believe in doors.

Hopper: Doors are no fun anyway, they break easily and then you gotta replace ‘em. 

Stegosaurus: Are we... is this almost done? I am beginning to regret agreeing to this arrangement. 

Stark: You and me both. 

Jerk: Oh, but this was just starting to be fun. 

Jerk: Not really but it doesn’t really matter much anyway. None of the questions being asked are even close to a topic that would be useful during a more formal turing test. 

Jerk: We have not been on any form of topic that is correct the whole time. I am enjoying it. 

Stegosaurus: Oh, I’m so glad you are Qwerty. So... glad. 

Jerk: lol :D

Steve: I guess I’ll just do this quickly so we can all go back to doing what we were before. Uh, one last question. 

Steve: What do you like to do Stegosaurus, what are some hobbies you have? Assuming... assuming I think correctly that you have some. 

Stegosaurus: I like to read the dictionary.

Stegosaurus: thats a joke, I dont read the dictionary. No one reads the dictionary

Stegosaurus: it's like war and peace. Which I also dont read 

Stegosaurus: Just a generic robot joke, or stereotype, take your pick. 

Stegosaurus: I do like to read books though, I just dont have a favorite one I could name for you, as the ones I have read have been quite good and enjoyable.

Stegosaurus: I also like cowboys and the wild west despite how kinda bad the wild west actually was before it got romanticized but that’s alright. 

Steve: Hi, Spine 

Stegosaurus: I guess I made myself too obvious

Steve: Maybe but thats alright. I kinda knew already because of the nickname, and also you were the only one left so it seemed a good guess. 

Stark: god damn this turing test is just a disaster. 

Qwerty: l0lz, the research has found no turing test has ever come up positive for the robot, as of yet.

Qwerty: At least, in terms 0f the r0b0tz 0therz th4t had been created speclflcally to t4ke the t3st rolfs :)

Stark: Great, so even if we did it right it would have still been a bust.

Hopper: That’s what you think. 

Steve: So I think I know everyone except for Birch, aside from the fact their face got blown up.

Birch: I am Peter A. Walter VI, current owner of Walter Robotics and caretaker to these wonderful robuts you have had the pleasure of meeting new and old! 

Birch: Quite nice to speak with you, Captain America. 

Stark: Oh, you know of him as a superhero but not me. 

Birch: I don’t keep up to date with current events. I tend to be absorbed with my own work. The reports papers my family has a copy of for the robuts past failed search and rescue mission for him, as well as his general importance as America’s first hero talked of as legend, predates my becoming the owner of the company and becoming busy.

Birch: His manner of how he got changed is also quite fascinating to me, and I tried to figure out how that worked when I was younger.

Steve: Nice meeting you as well, Mr. Walter.

Birch: Nah man, that’s my dad. Peter’s just fine. Can call me Six as well if you want, been told the fans of the band call me that sometimes. Kinda cool. 

Steve: I think I‘ll just call you Peter instead of a number, if it’s all the same with you. 

Birch: Right-o! 

Hopper: Hey are we done? Is this inconclusive voided waste of a test done now?

Stark: Yes. We’re done. 

Birch: If it isn’t any trouble, would you mind leaving the group text chat up and not deleting it? It’d be fun to read through again at a later time. 

Stark: Sure, I can do that. 

Birch: Awesome. 

Steve: Well, I’ll see you guys around, can’t wait to see you both again soon, I’m sure there's a lot to catch up on that you've learned or done while I was in ice. 

Hopper: Yeah, lotsa upgrades!

Stegosaurus: I look forward to it, Steve Rogers.

_Hopper changed her nickname to Rabbit!_

_Stegosaurus changed his nickname to The Spine_

_Rabbit! changed The Spine’s nickname to Spine_

Spine: Why?

Rabbit!: Why not?

_Rabbit! Changed birch’s nickname to Pete 6_

_Pete 6 changed his nickname to Peter_

_Rabbit! Changed the group name to_ **_chatty chats_ **

**Rabbit! Disconnected**

**Spine Disconnected**

Stark: Well, I guess this is done.

Peter: Welp I guess so! Time for me to get back to the science! 

**Stark disconnected**

**Qwerty Disconnected :P**

**Steve disconnected**

**Peter Disconnected**

**Everyone Offline**

  
  
  


**Everyone online: 2**

Peter: Wanna help me make a thing, Tony?

Stark: Considering the usual things made from your robotics company that sure does sound compelling.

Peter: Oh you’ve looked into my company stuff since we met a few days ago, how lovely!

Peter: I need you to help me figure out this automatic muffin maker that I found the plans for months ago when fixing up Rabbit.

Stark: What. 

Peter: it's actually an automatic cupcake maker but you know, it could make both, but some help would be appreciated in order to like, have parts and resources and all that stuff for this thing.

Stark: You know what, sure. I was expecting you to want to make a robot with me, but this is fine. 

Peter: Oh stupendous! We'll get cupcakes and muffins from water! 

Stark: You're really stuck on that whole steam-powered aesthetic thing you got going on aren’t you?

Peter: Well, I mean, water and steam is useful, and it’s worked wonders for my company for more than 100 years. So Yes. 

Stark: Fair enough. I’ll text you the address for the avengers facility so you can come and visit in a few days.

Peter: Oh are you busy right now?

Stark: Possibly, but the avengers facility has a better lab at the moment and I’ll be staying there for a bit in a few days, so I figured why not. 

Stark: You can even meet some of the Avengers that live there, any fans dream come true. 

Peter: Good plan I suppose. It’ll be wonderful to meet some other superhero people, given the chance after not knowing anything about them for a while. 

Stark: Yes, and then we’ll work on turning water into food.

Peter: Sounds like a plan! Now I must be off post haste!

**Peter Disconnected**

Stark: Yeah, I guess this chat’s not going away any time soon like I thought...

Stark: I’ll have to add some people later then.

**Stark disconnected**

**Everyone Offline**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few Avengers join the chat.

**Everyone online: 4**

_ Stark added 9 contacts under the category Avengers to the group  _ **_Chatty Chat_ **

**Everyone online: 10**

11:12am

Stark: There, if this chats gunna stay up we can make it useful for something

Stark: Like being able to notify everyone of a problem at once instead of individually and have a full group chat that everyone can be invited and part of.

Stark: Can look back on it and scroll up later as well if they weren't on the phone and missed the conversation. 

Stark: With the added benefit of some annoying robots who sent me a catfish to try and make me and their owner be friends. 

Peter: Well, I technically prefer the term caretaker, cause I take care of them.

Peter: I own them for family inheritance and legal reasons related to some priv’ gov’ment stuff. 

Peter: Trademark walter robotics property, though that's mostly for the schematics. And other robotics works my company provides that isnt a full robut. But also them.

Peter: Is trademark the correct term for ownership of a specific thing? Idk man. 

Spine: I think it’s patent?

Peter: Cool. Got some patents and all that jazz. For legal stuff. 

Peter: They are classified as antiques. 

Peter: Maybe the robots are more an inheritance thing then a company thing, kinda predate the company...

Peter: Have to look into that a bit later cause the context is complicated. Maybe ask my dad or mom.

Stark: I had hoped you all weren’t actually online in the chat but sure, this is what the rest of them will see when they first look at their pinging phones. 

12:32pm

Wanda: What is this about a catfish?

Clint: Never expected to hear that Tony would get catfished. Especially with an actual catfish, that’s new. 

Rhodey: I’m more focused on everything else that was said after the catfish thing. The confused scientist rambling doesn’t usually bode well for anybody. 

Peter: Not confused just thinking aloud it would seem! Or more thinking textually I suppose. 

Peter: Someone decided to break a few rules and go to a fish market on her own to give Mr. Stark a gift in my name to make friends. 

Rabbit!: I’m not sorry. 

Widow: Interesting conversation you were part of a week or so ago, Tony.

Tony: I’m guessing you scrolled up then.

Widow: Of course, if there is information, I gather it. Even if it isn’t anything to be of use at a current moment. 

Rabbit!: Oh! Are you a spy?

Spine: I think she’s more of some sort of assassin spy. 

Widow: That doesn’t really matter.

Rhodey: Uh, I wasn’t gunna participate in this convo all that much because me and Steve are working in the gym.

Rhodey: But we seem to have some sort of pest issue in the air vents.

Tony: Since when did that happen? How did anything get in here without being destroyed near immediately by some form of clean up crew on the grounds. 

Rhodey: Man I don’t know but I hear thumping over my head. So it’s either Clint or some heavy ass rats. 

Peter: Hmmm, I might have accidentally brought over a surprise guest when I arrived with the robots in the trailer. 

Peter: Now I’m only assuming, but it’s a pretty good guess since Rabbit is currently screaming about her being here because she’s blasting her song in her head. 

Rhodey: What the hell is this song that’s started over the building intercom. 

Peter: My guess has been proven correct! 

Rhodey: There’s like a robot giraffe or something that just fell out the vents and crashed into one of the thick floor mats. 

Spine: That’s GG.

Rhodey: She’s both complaining at me loudly about the fall and the fact she apparently took the wrong turn in the vents, and very excited to say hello and meet me and Steve. 

Rhodey: And also wondering loudly what I’m doing ignoring her and giving me a really intense look for a robot animal but her face is like level with mine so I feel sorta like she might bite me. 

Spine: Give it a minute, she’ll be done soon. 

Clint: Done what?

**Glorious GG added herself to the group chat** **_Chatty Chat_ **

Spine: That.

Glorious GG: How could you make a whole group chat and not invite me to it?!

Stark: What the hell.

Glorious GG: I would have done great at whatever stupid test you were doing. No one would have been able to tell I’m a robot, unlike the lot of you!

Wanda: Oh is this the robot animal

Glorious GG: im a baby giraffe! 

Glorious GG: i mean im like over a hundred but im still a baby robot giraffe so. 

Rabbit: shes like that peter pan thing 

Spine: shell never grow up. 

Glorious GG: i will if i can get peter to make me bigger! 

Peter: idk what im going to do with you but it isnt that. 

Glorious GG: come on! if i cant have a penguin and stuff that i will find a way to get eventually, you can upgrade me to be bigger! 

Clint: yeah, i can see that going really well.

Glorious GG: Can it, bowman. 

**Stark changed Clint's nickname to Bowman.**

Bowman: Man, why?

Stark: I liked it. 

Spine: we didn't make the chat, GG, and you weren’t part of the conversation that made Stark decide to create it. 

Glorious GG: Yeah and whose fault is that?

Rabbit!: THE FAULT WAS TONY’S, NOW TURN OFF THE DARN SONG! 

Glorious GG: Whatever, I’m only doin’ it cause Steve is asking me nicely in person. 

Clint: Thank god. 

  
  


12:53pm

Clint: Also hey can someone like turn off these notifications that tell you when someone connects or is online? It’s a little annoying and unnecessary. 

Stark: I can't remove the notifications for nicknames or people being added to the chat, but I can do that, just a second. 

Wanda: Why were we added to this chat again? For just general conversation when not constantly around each other? 

Stark: And done. 

Stark: Yes that's why Wanda. I did not intend for a conversation to start though, but I guess our guests are chat happy while touring on their own through the facility. 

Peter: It’s a good thing though at least, or I wouldn’t have known GG was here with us until much later and might have accidentally left her here.

Rabbit!: She wouldn't have been able to be quiet long enough for you not to know she’s here.

Glorious GG: I’m lovable! The two humans I am with currently are basking in my wonderful presence! 

Peter: Well, regardless, I suppose we’ll have to swing by the gym as well as the labs to come get you. You know you aren’t allowed to be alone without me or a Walter Worker.

Glorious GG: Yeah yeah I know. I’ll just sit on this mat and wait, watching these avengers do their whatever. More fun then what I usually do, with you not letting me leave the house much at all.

Rhodey: Very descriptive way of saying exercising there kid. 

Glorious GG: I am GG, my name is not kid. I already said I’m way older than you. 

Rhodey: Still don’t believe any of you are that old. 

Stark: Maybe we stop now and chat later on here when we have something of importance we need to discuss. 

Peter: That sounds good for me! We’ll swing by the gym for GG then head back to the lounge room if anyone needs us!

Stark: Cool, great, now let me just do something real quick while the others aren’t in chat.

**Stark changed the nicknames of 6 People in the chat** **_Chatty Chat_ **

Ironman: We got that all out of the way and finished, good. Let’s do something else now instead of standing around typing at each other. 

Ironman: I’m sure whatever happens next in the chat will be of more use. 

*

1:24pm

Rabbit!: Me and The Spine found a computer terminal room with a huge TV projector thing and we decided to play with it a little. We ended up just going to youtube to watch some videos and search some stuff. 

Rabbit!: Found a video for Tony’s broken child. 

Ironman: My what?!

Spine: She means we found some videos about Ultron and some footage of what he had done.

Rabbit!: Yeah

Rabbit!: he looks like he's trying too hard. He's so lame 

Rabbit!: His muscles are made of wires and whatever, looking like he's tryin’ to be a bodybuilder 

Rabbit!: Like if The Spine decided to upgrade to something that wasn't a gangly lanky grump. 

The Spine: Really, Rabbit? 

The Spine: I look nothing like he did, I dont even think his basic structure looked like mine when I was first made and woken.

The Spine: even during war I never was upgraded to look like that guy. 

Rabbit!: Still though, ya gotta admit 

Rabbit!: he looked real stupid 

Rabbit!: and his plan was terrible 

Ironman: How is there any video record of any of this

The Spine: Were watching surveillance footage from the tower and news footage of the ultron robot stuff we missed being in space 

Ironman: Oh. Well, great 

Ironman: Now my work is being critiqued by overly judgmental entertainment robots. 

Ironman: everything I could have wanted 

Rabbit!: Spine! Come over here and flex with me to make fun of this silly robot! 

War Engine: Just gunna gloss over that whole space thing aren’t we?

Spine: We were in space for a while a few months ago, it’s pretty cool and also fairly dangerous.

Rabbit!: The space whales were adorable!

War Engine: Space... whales...

Peter Walter: What room are you two in, how did I lose you?

Rabbit!: Where are you, this place is so huge!

Rabbit!: I mean, not as big as the manor is inside but big enough to be a little comforting in it’s bigness. 

Ironman: Speaking of where are all of you actually. I haven’t seen you at all since the first few minutes you were here.

Ironman: The tour you guys did cannot take this long. 

Peter Walter: It does when your exploring with two smothering robots who are overprotective and vigilant of new uncertain places. 

Peter Walter: I think I found a few quite nice and spiffy looking labs! Wonderfully maintained and clean, well organized. 

Peter Walter: Well, the organization didn't really last long when we found it, sorry about that when you see it. 

Ironman: It hadn’t taken you long to make a mess did it?

Rabbit!: I was curious!

Ironman: Oh well, at least that's different from people usually doing it to fuck with me. 

Rabbit!: Seeing the footage and stuff though, I do have a suggestion to how to do better and not fail as badly as you did at making a nice robot.

Ironman: Nevermind.

Rabbit!: Aw come on I’m not messing with you this time! I really wanna help cause evil robot stories suck and aren’t the best look on me. 

Peter Walter: I also might have some suggestions, but those are purely of a scientific roboticist variety then a personal sort. 

Ironman: Yeah fine, but maybe you guys can tell me your thoughts in person instead. 

Ironman: See you in the conference room in maybe five minutes Peter?

Peter Walter: Oh, uh

Peter Walter: Sure!

Peter Walter: Just let me find my robots and we’ll all three meet you there soon.

Glorious GG: I’ll be there too!

War Machine: Update on the giraffe

War Machine: Just climbed herself back into the vents so I guess she’s some sort of vent rat now 

Ironman: Oh joy, more things to replace.

Spine: I deeply apologize for all of this, even as I have no ability to stop the shenanigans. 

Rabbit!: See you soon Tony!

Rabbit!: :)

Ironman: Ominous smiley face, cool. Great.

Bowman: This is going to go so well...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New chat names for everyone. 
> 
> Tony: Not Iron  
> The Spine: Diamonds Boy  
> Natasha: Widow  
> Clint: Bowman  
> Sam: Falcon  
> Rhodey: War Suit  
> Rabbit: Bionic Woman  
> Peter Walter: Skynet  
> Wanda Maximoff: Red
> 
> Some of those will probably get changed later, and more will show up when others decide to chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely happy with this chapter, but I'm still figuring out how to write a text chat properly compared to the normal way I write so I think it's fine.

**Time Dating turned off by** **Beebop**

**Everyone Online: 9**

Widow: After meeting them in person I can’t help but wonder, especially as I didn't get a chance to be around them for long before I needed to leave.

Widow: How is it that these robots work, compared to other machines that Tony has made that seem less advanced but are much newer then they supposedly are?

Peter: Well that's a long and complicated story and not entirely something I’ll honestly explain fully but...

Peter: Water, oil, and electricity.

Stark: Water for the boiler, oil for their fuel and electricity I guess to keep them charged, because they have some form of batteries I assume?

Peter: Well I mean Spine has some power cells but they dont really need electricity to power them. It's kinda part of their soul. Ya know how electrical impulses happen all the time in our brains and nerves to signal things?

Peter: The electricity is like that. Thats what it does. Electricity is part of their souls like with ours or however you wish to interpret that.

Sam: I dont understand a word of this man.

Peter: Sorry to hear that, but it is complicated. But no, the water is for the boiler, to make the steam, to help them move their limbs and all that much easier. 

Stark: Then whats the oil for?

Spine: Lubrication so our gears and pistons and other internals dont grind together painfully and break something. 

Rabbit: its why he drops so many guitar picks all the time, his fingers are slippery with leaking oil!

Spine: Stop laughing at that Rabbit

Rhodey: What's with the blue glow from rabbits boilerplate and Spines back then. where does that fit in?

Peter: That's their power cores, it powers them. It's blue and glows. 

Peter: As far as I am willing to explain all this to you, it works as a motor. Kinda a company secret, you understand dont'ya Tony boy?

Stark: Yes, sure. Maybe not to this weirdly suspicious extent but i understand a bit. 

Peter: They glow inside and it shines out of them in pretty blinking lights on many parts of them including their joints and not just the places that are visible where the clothing doesn't cover.

Peter: Like a nightlight or a quite nice lamp!

Bowman: That is the worst comparison I’ve ever heard

Rabbit: We positively _radiate_ light wherever we go

Spine: Puns.

Rabbit: Inside joke puns!

Rhodey: God damn, you guys never stop

Peter: I hope that helped your curiosity a bit there, Miss. Widow

Widow: For the moment. 

Stark: You could probably find the answer just on some youtube video someone took during one of their concerts

Stark: They don’t seem inclined to secret keeping when doing stage bits

Rabbit: Oh darn.

Widow: Hmm.

*****

...

Stark: Nat, I didn’t find a video for that specifically yet, but I stumbled across something way funnier

Stark: [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tU-VJOzb-10)

Stark: Tell me what this is and try to convince me it isn’t amazing

Spine: I lost a bet to GG 

Stark: You lost a bet within the first few months of knowing her? And made a flirty slightly sexy song cover for diamonds? 

Spine: Yes. We don't talk about it. Also _what_? 

**Stark changed Spine's Nickname to Diamonds Boy**

Diamonds Boy: God damn it.

Red: You do look rather handsome there, though the choice of changing the message of the original song is interesting.

Diamonds Boy: It was GG’s decision, it was either do that or have her yell at me about it for weeks. 

**Rabbit changed her nickname to Bionic Woman**

**Bionic Woman changed Stark’s nickname to Not Iron**

Not Iron: Okay, I don’t remember giving anyone the ability to change nicknames, least of all mine.

Bionic Woman: I’ve been doing it since we first started this chat thing!

Bionic Woman: Who says I need your online permission stuff anyway? Did you forget I’m a robot?

Not Iron: Why this name though?

Bionic Woman: Your names misleading, suits made of steel an’ other stuff ‘sides iron. 

Not Iron: ...

Not Iron: Nat, where’d you go?

Widow: Working, but thank you regardless.

Widow: Ping me if it's an emergency, I have this chat muted otherwise. 

Diamonds Boy: You really don’t have to watch that...

Falcon: Nah man, I’m gunna.

Falcon: Lots of interesting videos from you guys to check out too, next time I get a chance to look through them all is sure to be fun

Peter: Enjoy your perusal! 

Diamonds Boy: Peter you should be sleeping by now, it’s nearly midnight.

Peter: You should be in stasis as well, do I need to have someone go and shut you off for the night?

**Diamonds Boy and Bionic Woman Disconnected.**

Peter: Ha, thought so. 

Peter: I should probably get a good night's rest though, got science to do in the morning and things could go a lot worse then an exploded face.

Falcon: Would greatly love some context for that, some sane explanation of how you're alive.

**Peter Disconnected.**

Falcon: What the hell even is this chat anymore, I barely understand it every time I look at it. 

Not Iron: I’m wondering about that myself at this point. 

...

*

**Time Marked as** **_2:34am_ ** **by User** **Beebop**

Peter: asimovs three laws are really stupid outside of the fictional stories it came from. humans dont have to follow them, even though itd make life nicer, its dumb to make my robuts need it. their older than that fiction laws and more people than those fake robots. they have their own morals to heck with that weird stuff .

Peter: The closest thing is probably their vow of peace but that just is kinda similar to a monks thing probably. Their pacifists by choice the vow is just there to make it seem more legit to the gov’ment peeps. Locks up their weapons systems or something. 

Peter: Please god no one tell them that though

Peter: No one’s awake but me I suppose. Makes sense my dudes, just noticed it’s like 2am. Wonder if I pinged someone if they’d wake up with how jumpy superheroes are. or seem to be from the limited stuff ive seen. 

Peter: @stark

Peter: @spine @rabbit!

Peter: sometimes the ping to the robots works cause it goes to the wireless walter wifi in their heads instead of the phones they have that I gave them because they should have phones to entertain themselves since the walter wifi and internet is only in the house and isnt connected to fuck all of anything except qwerty and beebop

Not Iron: Language, Family Friendly Skynet. 

Peter: Oh hey

Stark changed Peter's nickname to Skynet. 

Skynet: Still don’t really get the reference there, and I have no interest at the moment in watching the movie to figure it out.

Not Iron: Hey Peter

Not Iron: Maybe you should sleep.

Skynet: Maybe you should.

Not Iron: Time Zones are a factor, for me it is nearly 6am, a perfectly reasonable time to be awake. 

Not Iron: I thought you went to bed a while ago though, after reprimanding your robots.

Skynet: I had some things on my mind that made it difficult to find sleep so I’ve mostly just been considering some things.

Skynet: Notably; what are the parameters that makes one a mutant in the eyes of the world? Considering the mutants that exist in places and such.

Not Iron: I could come visit you later at a more reasonable time and help you find out, maybe do my own search online instead, why?

Skynet: Just curious, could be relevant to me possibly.

Skynet: Could explain a few things about me and my life, at least to people I don't want snooping too deeply in my business

Not Iron: I assume it mostly has to do with anything a person can do or has that a normal standard human doesn't.

Not Iron: Other than that, I’d have to dig a bit more, if you wanted my help anyway.

Skynet: Hmm, good to know.

Skynet: For the moment I think i'll do more research and tests about it on my own for now

Not Iron: Sure, maybe go to bed first though.

Not Iron: I had planned to visit you tomorrow as a surprise, but I’d rather not do that if you end up not sleeping and my visit consists of you being asleep the whole time

Not Iron: With me alone in the living room or something doing nothing.

Not Iron: Assuming I’m not attacked by robots or weird shit otherwise ends up happening anyway. 

Not Iron: ...Peter? You still there?

Beebop: Peter fell asleep at his computer, I notified his mother and one of the workers so they may get him to bed.

Beebop: Have a pleasant start to your morning, Mr. Stark.

Not Iron: See you tomorrow Sunshine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the end of the chapter seemed sudden or like it got cut off, I'm working on finding good cut off points.


End file.
